தமிழில் Femina

The magazine hated by almost all men is now coming out in regional languages! Femina now has a tamizh edition. I wanted to read it so much that I got the first issue today and read it cover to cover. This time, in addition to the general feeling of being deprived from the bare necessities to survive in this world like Dior heels and MAC make-up, I was on the floor laughing. No, it wasn't because of that regular constipated look anorexic models sport or because of the plain stupidity of the magazine trying to be "south-indianish" writing gossip about Sussanne Roshan.

It was the Tamizh! OH. MY. GOD. Google translates better. For example, there was a small interview of Kausalya Nathan, the lifestyle expert. It said,

"பெமினா தமிழுக்கு என் இதயப்பூர்வமான வணக்கத்தை தருகிறேன்."

Bwahahaha, get it?! The book was full of such translations. There was this section presumably on how to improve relations at office. It asked me to ask "வாழ்க்கை எப்படி சென்று கொண்டிருக்கிறது?" to all my colleagues. No, really. I laughed like a maniac. I started imagining how facebook would be if all our conversations were in femina tamizh.

(Yes, I have an exam tomorrow and I am really this jobless. You can stop blaming my nose of being buried in the book 24x7.)

ஏய்! வணக்கம்! எப்படி செய்து கொண்டிருக்கிறாய்?

நான் நன்றாக இருக்கிறேன்


அதனால், மேலே என்ன இருக்கிறது?

ஒன்னும் இல்லை  ரொம்ப ஆண்மகனே! எதுவும் நடக்கவில்லை.


நீளமான நேரம், இல்லை பார்வை!!!!



உனக்கு தெரியாதா? கல்லூரி!!


*சிரிக்கிறேன் சத்தமாக* அதனால், என்ன நடக்கிறது உன் வாழ்க்கையில்? காதல் முன்னாடியில்?

ஒண்ணுமே நடக்கமாட்டேன் என்கிறது! போன மாதம் கூட ஒரு பெண்ணை அடிக்க பார்த்தேன். ஆனால் அவள் என்னை அறைந்துவிட்டாள்.


ஓ என் கடவுளே!

அதனால் முதல் சதுரத்திற்க்கே வந்துவிட்டேன்.

என்ன ஆச்சு போன வருடம் நீ வெளியே சென்றுகொண்டிருந்த பெண்ணிற்கு?


நாங்கள்  உடைந்துவிட்டோம் மேலே.

காளை சாணமே! நீ உன் மனதிற்கு வெளியே இருக்கிறாய்! எனக்கு என்ன சொல்வதென்றே தெரியவில்லை.

வா மேலே ஆண்மகனே! நானே சுலபமாக எடுத்து கொண்டுவிட்டேன். மறந்துவிடு அதை. சரி, எழுத்துப்பணி உள்ளது. ஆசிரியர் சாவுகோட்டை நாளை என்று வைத்துவிட்டார். நான் செல்ல வேண்டும்.


சரி, கடலா, தொட்டுக்கொண்டே இரு.

கடலா.

 I am not giving the translation as it will spoil the fun. Have fun speaking femina thamizh!

என் translate கலையை வளர்த்த  Vinay அண்ணாவிற்கு மிக்க நன்றி. :P :P

VenCurd Vennesh and the Ven"gay"ams!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER

All the characters in this following post “MIGHT be” fictional and coincidences “COULD BE” intentional!!!

“For its uncertainty, we cannot flee the future”

-Barbara Jordan

PROLOGUE:

That Saturday evening when Vennesh and Peter were reviving their long lost practice of CHENNAI-91 style of cricket, the former received that phone call!

Hanging on the doorway of Chennai’s most fav transportation, the MRTS, Vencurd was pushing for some one to pick on the call!

And in the nerdy study room of hers , miss. Mary was thinking of her damned assignments that she had to submit the day after, when she received a similar call!

The poet, amidst his busy schedule had received it too!

NONE OF THE FIVE REALISED THE EFFECT THAT PHONE CALL WOULD TRIGGER ON THEIR LIVES!

THE PLOT

“hey ,hello vencurd here! What about a pwndaworse meet up morrow?” ,the voice announced.

“I’ll ask Peter now wait.”, and after a pause ,”he has semester practicals on Monday .But says he ll try and make it”

“give him the phone, vencurd here da, dai come tomorrow.”

“95% I ll make it mate”

And then Peter turned to Vennesh ,”macha, screw the practicals, I’M IN”

And when all was well, The Poet got some work and turned his hand

s out on the final second.

Neither mary nor Peter realized how much of an intrusion they would turn out to be!

When Peter, Vennesh and Vencurd boarded the CLASS-A share auto,

peter started to realise the small changes and he could feel the atmosphere intensify!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eCc3hGONPQ

When Mary too finally joined them, Peter and she ,irrespective of the fact that this was their first meeting, could feel one thing in unison, AWKWARDNESS in the air!

When they all sat down to begin that meet of theirs everything became clear!From Kalima to CCD to Marybrown wherever they went cupid was there to strike'em!

And from that moment on, Peter and Mary could only give e

ach other glares that meant only

“C’MON GUYS, WHY US IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR DATE!!!!?”

Romance filled the entire space and Vencurd and vennesh became more and more intimate!

The photo-shoot to mark this world famous meeting became a platform for the couple to show their affection and love towards one another !All that the guys missed was the poet to sing on their love!

Finally when it was time for everybody to depart Vencurd dedicated this song to Vennesh!

I've been waiting for the moon light
I've been waiting for the lonely sky
all night stranger in one own life
I've been waiting for the life time for you

And……………………………….................

EPILOGUE

..................Vennesh woke up with a shudder and texted all the four.

And received the following replies

Vencurd ,”Gommala yei:-/ mani moonu paduthu thoongu”

Mary, ”disturb me not when I do my EG!”

Peter dozed off

Vennesh could not chuck this dream from his thought!

And superstition has it that early morning dreams go on to become reality!

He Thought whether it was the hangover of “TELL ME YOUR DREAMS”, and not able to decide clearly he started doin what he does best! Sending ”BLOG UPDATED:)” texts to everybody!

And the rest is HISTORY!!!!

“For its uncertainty, we can’t flee the future!”

-Barbara Jordan!

And thus Bheem was born.

The worst situation you’ll find yourselves in is the initial Phase of any thing that you do! settling your eye on waking uP, brushing your teeth, though you do it every day, facing the first few balls fearing you might get out the very next ball, the fore-Play :P and the exact Position, that I am finding myself now in “WRITING THE INTRO TO BLOG “P”OST and this is supposed to be my INTRO “P”OST. But now that I have come over at least 5 lines ,hoPe I begin to imPress my “solitary reader”.

I do feel it heartening to exercise my finger tiPs on my key board outside a chat box or search box after a long long time. Before I Proceed further I’ll warn my reader to think twice before becoming a fan of my works cos I am not an avid blogger like the other four: Keerthi,Venky,Vignesh and Vinay

Every fortnight when the sky is like a brand new black board, with the moon Providing the golden luminescence and the wolves howling at a distance, I GET THE IDEA TO BLOG !!so Patience is of the essence to my reader. I don't want any comPlaints from the other four saying that you guys need more and more of my master-mind.

I have no regrets of wasting your time, if you had no time you would not have reached this line! NEVER!! My Posts will not have anything sPecific, but a Parody on anything and everything that amuses me. Since this is suPPosed to be my intro Post I have run a Parody on myself!

[P.S.]: The letter P in caps is just craP!!!!!!!
[P.P.S.]: This is dedicated to the one who introduced my “Peter” side to me!!