N.A.M.E.S

  Woah! It’s been such a long time since i or any of the other four buggers wrote in this place. As usual I am back to the rescue. This is what the Venk has cooked up and finally you can smell it!

Let me get straight to the point. I hung out at St Thomas mt quite a few times these past months and couldn’t help but notice how people get a kick from writing their “name” on walls. It is kind of okay if it is on facebook, but dude why would you want to write it on buses, trains, statues and what ever thing you can lay your hand on. Gosh! even the tomb of some Caucasian dude! 

 

I have been noticing this “name meme” ever since my college days, when i used to travel via train. There is this area in train where it reads “No ADs”, the next day you see them, they would be covered with

"PART TIME JOB Rs 10000 salary, no sales job! 100% REAL call 420420420”

The guts these guys have to leave their phone numbers in place where sticking bills are strictly prohibited! hahaha That’s like an open invitation to the authorities to take action and yet they fail too!

  Then there are these superheroes who push the train and then jump into the train and travel on the footboard. That’s least of my concern but the place where they “hang” quite literally would be filled up with, yeah you’ve guessed it right! NAMES. O_o If you are new, there are so many “GUYS” around here, let me list some memes;

“LIC heightu <insert your “gang” name> weightu”,

“<insert your name> loves <insert your one side louve’s name>”,

“Mr.<insert your name>& Mrs.<insert your GF’s>”

“ <insert all the buggers in your “gang”> “THE <insert some inane bullshit> GUYS” and also “The <insert the bus route you travel> Guys”

The most famous and widely used gang name around here is “THE DANGER GUYS” Nothing rivals this gang name with people around here! It gives a “daredevilry”, “adventurous” and “spooky” feel to the whole thing! Usually they are accompanied with a skull and 2 bones to go with “gang” name. The weirdest I’ve seen are “HI GUYS” and “Black shirt Guys” bwhahaha Now what kind of a name was that?!

They even wrote below some Caucasian dude who visited St Thomas mount place. Oh I forgot this eternal symbol ♥ and then an → goes through it.

 

I really feel for this dude! Jeez even his tomb! He can’t even rest in peace!

 

I think many of you guys would have seen the end coming with “NAMES” being the title. Ah! Still IT DOESNT MATTER! :-p

 

The Venk has got only one thing to tell all these “frofessional name writers” IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOUR NAMES IS! So please stop screwing public property, instead screw yourself with permanent tattoos if you have guts.

UPDATE: Here is the update of N.A.M.E.S pictures! I took recently http://on.fb.me/gjEYqU watch and enjoy!

“Parking in front of the gate” syndrome

    In the South Indian city of Chennai, there exists a place which is similar to that of the Kashmir, Jafferkhanpet/Ashok Nagar. No stone throwing but just rocking. There has been a long standing border dispute between Jafferkhanpet and Ashok Nagar which share the same postal code 600083. I am literally VenCAT on the wall, so our address reads both with Jafferkhanpet and Ashok Nagar. Our Apartment, one can say is in the LOC. One of the problems that exist here is “No parking in front of the gate” syndrome. Pretty every Apartment has this board hung over its main gate and bunch of vehicles in front of it. The vehicles range from car, auto to cycle!

   Let us now dwell into the prospect of the “terror” who hails in our Apartment.  Our terror! aka ParQueen, without any care in the world, parks her vehicle in front of the gate, just when my Dad leaves in his car. I am the one who performs the function of the gate opener/closer/vehicle clearer for my dad. That is why i am lamenting here.

  Not one but four “No Parking in front of gate” boards, along with the placer’s pimpage are hung on the Apartment gate. Out of the four, two boards pimped some Soda Buddi Buddies aka Optical companies, one a textile company ( like it needed this dreaded board in this disputed area to advertise it) and last one is #epic. When people move from one place to another, the packing and moving enterprise hangs a board which signifies that it had left an indelible imprint on that particular apartment. The irony here is that he parks the truck in front of gate blocking any space that is left. What is even more #epic is that there are a few Idea Manis who stick bills on that board itself! Look what they have done, “Please Dont Park here” has become “Please Park here”

I tried the technique of Gandhigiri where Munnabhai cleans the entrance when a person repeated spits in the same place and then on seeing Munnabhai cleaning it, the guy changes his mind and he stops spitting. Days went, weeks went, months went and my biceps bulged as i had to carry the vehicle off every morning but for Sundays. Sometimes you have to use “Gaandugiri” (Strictly in Madras Tamil which means “to irritate someone”) instead of Gandhigiri . You can do the following

1. Pull off the air from the tyres and act as if some crow had done it.
2. Create obstacles by placing stones and strategically planned places.
3. Handle with utmost “carefulness” while clearing the vehicle.
4. If none of these work, move the “No Parking” board to some other place like this and then shift it somewhere. The rest will follow!

“Wherever and whenever a no parking sign appears they will take an avatar and park, stick bills, spit, litter and Pee with a capital P!”

There are thick skinned cases like in mine. You just have to learn to see bullcrap as fertilizer, render them hopeless and write off these cases to Gandhi a/c. At least i can flex my biceps!