Monday, April 4, 2011

தமிழில் Femina

The magazine hated by almost all men is now coming out in regional languages! Femina now has a tamizh edition. I wanted to read it so much that I got the first issue today and read it cover to cover. This time, in addition to the general feeling of being deprived from the bare necessities to survive in this world like Dior heels and MAC make-up, I was on the floor laughing. No, it wasn't because of that regular constipated look anorexic models sport or because of the plain stupidity of the magazine trying to be "south-indianish" writing gossip about Sussanne Roshan.

It was the Tamizh! OH. MY. GOD. Google translates better. For example, there was a small interview of Kausalya Nathan, the lifestyle expert. It said,

"பெமினா தமிழுக்கு என் இதயப்பூர்வமான வணக்கத்தை தருகிறேன்."

Bwahahaha, get it?! The book was full of such translations. There was this section presumably on how to improve relations at office. It asked me to ask "வாழ்க்கை எப்படி சென்று கொண்டிருக்கிறது?" to all my colleagues. No, really. I laughed like a maniac. I started imagining how facebook would be if all our conversations were in femina tamizh.

(Yes, I have an exam tomorrow and I am really this jobless. You can stop blaming my nose of being buried in the book 24x7.)

ஏய்! வணக்கம்! எப்படி செய்து கொண்டிருக்கிறாய்?

நான் நன்றாக இருக்கிறேன்

அதனால், மேலே என்ன இருக்கிறது?

ஒன்னும் இல்லை  ரொம்ப ஆண்மகனே! எதுவும் நடக்கவில்லை.

நீளமான நேரம், இல்லை பார்வை!!!!

உனக்கு தெரியாதா? கல்லூரி!!

*சிரிக்கிறேன் சத்தமாக* அதனால், என்ன நடக்கிறது உன் வாழ்க்கையில்? காதல் முன்னாடியில்?

ஒண்ணுமே நடக்கமாட்டேன் என்கிறது! போன மாதம் கூட ஒரு பெண்ணை அடிக்க பார்த்தேன். ஆனால் அவள் என்னை அறைந்துவிட்டாள்.

ஓ என் கடவுளே!

அதனால் முதல் சதுரத்திற்க்கே வந்துவிட்டேன்.

என்ன ஆச்சு போன வருடம் நீ வெளியே சென்றுகொண்டிருந்த பெண்ணிற்கு?

நாங்கள்  உடைந்துவிட்டோம் மேலே.

காளை சாணமே! நீ உன் மனதிற்கு வெளியே இருக்கிறாய்! எனக்கு என்ன சொல்வதென்றே தெரியவில்லை.

வா மேலே ஆண்மகனே! நானே சுலபமாக எடுத்து கொண்டுவிட்டேன். மறந்துவிடு அதை. சரி, எழுத்துப்பணி உள்ளது. ஆசிரியர் சாவுகோட்டை நாளை என்று வைத்துவிட்டார். நான் செல்ல வேண்டும்.

சரி, கடலா, தொட்டுக்கொண்டே இரு.


 I am not giving the translation as it will spoil the fun. Have fun speaking femina thamizh!

என் translate கலையை வளர்த்த  Vinay அண்ணாவிற்கு மிக்க நன்றி. :P :P

Sunday, January 9, 2011


  Woah! It’s been such a long time since i or any of the other four buggers wrote in this place. As usual I am back to the rescue. This is what the Venk has cooked up and finally you can smell it!

Let me get straight to the point. I hung out at St Thomas mt quite a few times these past months and couldn’t help but notice how people get a kick from writing their “name” on walls. It is kind of okay if it is on facebook, but dude why would you want to write it on buses, trains, statues and what ever thing you can lay your hand on. Gosh! even the tomb of some Caucasian dude! 


I have been noticing this “name meme” ever since my college days, when i used to travel via train. There is this area in train where it reads “No ADs”, the next day you see them, they would be covered with

"PART TIME JOB Rs 10000 salary, no sales job! 100% REAL call 420420420”

The guts these guys have to leave their phone numbers in place where sticking bills are strictly prohibited! hahaha That’s like an open invitation to the authorities to take action and yet they fail too!

  Then there are these superheroes who push the train and then jump into the train and travel on the footboard. That’s least of my concern but the place where they “hang” quite literally would be filled up with, yeah you’ve guessed it right! NAMES. O_o If you are new, there are so many “GUYS” around here, let me list some memes;

“LIC heightu <insert your “gang” name> weightu”,

“<insert your name> loves <insert your one side louve’s name>”,

“Mr.<insert your name>& Mrs.<insert your GF’s>”

“ <insert all the buggers in your “gang”> “THE <insert some inane bullshit> GUYS and also The <insert the bus route you travel> Guys

The most famous and widely used gang name around here is “THE DANGER GUYS” Nothing rivals this gang name with people around here! It gives a “daredevilry”, “adventurous” and “spooky” feel to the whole thing! Usually they are accompanied with a skull and 2 bones to go with “gang” name. The weirdest I’ve seen are “HI GUYS” and “Black shirt Guys” bwhahaha Now what kind of a name was that?!

They even wrote below some Caucasian dude who visited St Thomas mount place. Oh I forgot this eternal symbol ♥ and then an → goes through it.


I really feel for this dude! Jeez even his tomb! He can’t even rest in peace!


I think many of you guys would have seen the end coming with “NAMES” being the title. Ah! Still IT DOESNT MATTER! :-p


The Venk has got only one thing to tell all these “frofessional name writers” IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOUR NAMES IS! So please stop screwing public property, instead screw yourself with permanent tattoos if you have guts.

UPDATE: Here is the update of N.A.M.E.S pictures! I took recently watch and enjoy!